God is really talking to me about surrender and what it means- I keep running into it all over the place. And I think it will be my focus for Lent. And i'm excited. And scared. Because surrender has never been my strong point...
I've always thought of Lent as a time to "give things up." This year, I have been struck with the idea that it is also a time to focus on something-- And since God seems keen on this "Surrender" idea, I suppose I should hop in and buckle up.
This might be a particularly difficult idea, because I'm also struck with the understanding that I tend to "surrender" things in order to get my way. You know-- if I let God have this, he'll see how good I'm being, and will give me something I want. Well, today He and I discussed how this ulterior-motive thing is just not going to work out. Yes, he wants to do good things in my life, but no, it won't be as a reward for "being good," and no, he's not withholding those things because I'm "not good enough yet."
It should be an interesting forty days, but I am looking forward to picking God's brain on the subject, on the implications it will have on my life, and well, what's going to come from it!
Oh, Abbi, I don't know anyone that surrender comes easily to... we just have different struggles with what it is that we withold from God. I'll be praying for you, and I admire you (as I mentioned recently) for your sensitivity to the Lord and your willingness to follow where He leads.
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