Some years, being single on Valentine's Day has made me sad. Some days, it has made me bitter.
This year, I just don't care. I have too much else to think about- like work and exams and future plans and all kinds of stuff. Today, I honestly forgot it was even coming up. I'll be dreadfully sleepy through most of February fourteenth, anyways.
It's sort of a relief.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Complete
I wrote this in my private blog as a sort of rant, then decided to change a bit and actually put it out there:
Today in class, a professor of mine talked about relationships. Namely, those in which people who once protested that they would never fall in love do, in fact, fall in love. He made a comment, which I'm sure he didn't mean it how it sounded, but that basically came to this: there are those girls (yes, he picked out girls in particular) that say they're complete by themselves. As though those silly, progressive, independent women were so cocky as to think they didn't need a man.
Here's the thing. I'm not progressive. In fact, I'm pretty darn conservative. I'm old-fashioned. I like the idea of a man. However, this does not mean that I "need" one. I don't need to be completed. God didn't create me to be half a person, doomed to walk the earth, searching for my perfect puzzle-piece-match to complete me. I am a whole, completed by God, not by a man. Complimented, yes! Completed, no.
People tell me all the time "don't worry, you'll find someone." Let me tell you about this "encouragement." It. Doesn't. Encourage. In fact, it tends to bring up something that I wasn't particularly worried about at that moment (this is not to say that it's never on my mind) and shoves it in my face. Wait- Don't worry? Should I have been worrying? Are YOU worrying? Now I'm worried that you're worried and think I should be, too.
It is possible that I may never get married. It just is. I am strong. Not strong-I-don't-need-anyone-I-can-do-anything-a-man-can. But I'm strong. Also, I feel a really strong pull on my heart towards a ministry that, honestly, might not be the safest environment for a marriage. So sometimes I do consider the idea that maybe I won't get married.
Sometimes, I tell myself I won't as a defense mechanism. If I don't believe it will happen, when it doesn't, I won't be disappointed, and if it does, I can be pleasantly surprised. But some people seem to take it upon themselves to point this out. To smirk, "knowingly," and tell me things like: Well, we'll see what happens when YOU fall in love.
Why do you say things like this? So that when/if I do find someone who compliments me, when/if I fall in love, you can say "I told you so"? Why would someone feel the need? I find it most unnecessary.
Don't try to "console" me in my singleness; don't try to rub it in my face when I fall in love. Just be content with me in my journey, and allow me to be content in it, too.
Today in class, a professor of mine talked about relationships. Namely, those in which people who once protested that they would never fall in love do, in fact, fall in love. He made a comment, which I'm sure he didn't mean it how it sounded, but that basically came to this: there are those girls (yes, he picked out girls in particular) that say they're complete by themselves. As though those silly, progressive, independent women were so cocky as to think they didn't need a man.
Here's the thing. I'm not progressive. In fact, I'm pretty darn conservative. I'm old-fashioned. I like the idea of a man. However, this does not mean that I "need" one. I don't need to be completed. God didn't create me to be half a person, doomed to walk the earth, searching for my perfect puzzle-piece-match to complete me. I am a whole, completed by God, not by a man. Complimented, yes! Completed, no.
People tell me all the time "don't worry, you'll find someone." Let me tell you about this "encouragement." It. Doesn't. Encourage. In fact, it tends to bring up something that I wasn't particularly worried about at that moment (this is not to say that it's never on my mind) and shoves it in my face. Wait- Don't worry? Should I have been worrying? Are YOU worrying? Now I'm worried that you're worried and think I should be, too.
It is possible that I may never get married. It just is. I am strong. Not strong-I-don't-need-anyone-I-can-do-anything-a-man-can. But I'm strong. Also, I feel a really strong pull on my heart towards a ministry that, honestly, might not be the safest environment for a marriage. So sometimes I do consider the idea that maybe I won't get married.
Sometimes, I tell myself I won't as a defense mechanism. If I don't believe it will happen, when it doesn't, I won't be disappointed, and if it does, I can be pleasantly surprised. But some people seem to take it upon themselves to point this out. To smirk, "knowingly," and tell me things like: Well, we'll see what happens when YOU fall in love.
Why do you say things like this? So that when/if I do find someone who compliments me, when/if I fall in love, you can say "I told you so"? Why would someone feel the need? I find it most unnecessary.
Don't try to "console" me in my singleness; don't try to rub it in my face when I fall in love. Just be content with me in my journey, and allow me to be content in it, too.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
You are beautiful
How many times have you been told this in your life? If you're being honest, probably not nearly enough.
I am fortunate to have the opportunity for an incredible minstry with women who are probably told this all the time. But, unfortunately, the people that are telling them this are not saying it out of the woman's best interest, and in all likelihood, it is being said with sexual undertones.
Beauty is something God-given. We were each made perfectly in His image, and were given the priviledge to be "the fairer sex." But beauty has been cheapened by over-sexualizing it. Not that we are not sexual beings, but sometimes, it's okay to be just "beautiful."
Tell someone they're beautiful today. Beautiful just the way they are, beautiful because God created them, beautiful because they are loved.
It's something everyone needs to hear.
I am fortunate to have the opportunity for an incredible minstry with women who are probably told this all the time. But, unfortunately, the people that are telling them this are not saying it out of the woman's best interest, and in all likelihood, it is being said with sexual undertones.
Beauty is something God-given. We were each made perfectly in His image, and were given the priviledge to be "the fairer sex." But beauty has been cheapened by over-sexualizing it. Not that we are not sexual beings, but sometimes, it's okay to be just "beautiful."
Tell someone they're beautiful today. Beautiful just the way they are, beautiful because God created them, beautiful because they are loved.
It's something everyone needs to hear.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Today I finished up my last two Dr. Vincent classes. Tomorrow will be the end of my Spanish adventure (Ole!) and Renaissance Literature. Next week brings three finals and a paper that is "no more than two pages" long.
And with that... My (second) senior year is halfway over.
One more semester!
Ole! (or... oy vey?)
And with that... My (second) senior year is halfway over.
One more semester!
Ole! (or... oy vey?)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
When I get ahold of a good book, I devour it. It's like this force I cannot stop-- not even to eat or sleep. Why? Because I want to know how it ends. I never look at the last page first or anything like that, I appreciate the journey it takes to get to the conclusion, but man- I really really really want to know the ending.
This week I have thought a lot about my future. I'm graduating in about six months with a degree in English. Everyone who hears this automatically asks me if I want to teach. And no, I don't. I tried that route, it's not my thing. So what do I want to do with it? I haven't the foggiest idea. I like the idea of editing, I've even taken the time to look into some jobs in that area. This route would take me to a city- probably New York.
Then there's always the option of staying around Wilmore/Lexington, and trying to find a full-time job here, even if this option is just to help me get on my own two feet.
Then there's Chicago. It's a city I love, plus it's close to home.
There are so many different ways my life could turn out. In seven months, I could be.... anywhere. Absolutely anywhere.
And for the person who loves to know the endings of stories, it's killing me.
It's not a matter of not trusting God. I do. Or at least I'm learning. And every time I start to become too concerned, He always reminds me that he's got it under control. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to know. Just... wanting the conclusion. See how it all wraps up. See what state I'm living in, for heaven's sake!
I'm in the middle of the journey, and I can't see the end of the road for the life of me. And on days like today, it's a little bit frustrating. And exciting.
Yikes.
This week I have thought a lot about my future. I'm graduating in about six months with a degree in English. Everyone who hears this automatically asks me if I want to teach. And no, I don't. I tried that route, it's not my thing. So what do I want to do with it? I haven't the foggiest idea. I like the idea of editing, I've even taken the time to look into some jobs in that area. This route would take me to a city- probably New York.
Then there's always the option of staying around Wilmore/Lexington, and trying to find a full-time job here, even if this option is just to help me get on my own two feet.
Then there's Chicago. It's a city I love, plus it's close to home.
There are so many different ways my life could turn out. In seven months, I could be.... anywhere. Absolutely anywhere.
And for the person who loves to know the endings of stories, it's killing me.
It's not a matter of not trusting God. I do. Or at least I'm learning. And every time I start to become too concerned, He always reminds me that he's got it under control. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to know. Just... wanting the conclusion. See how it all wraps up. See what state I'm living in, for heaven's sake!
I'm in the middle of the journey, and I can't see the end of the road for the life of me. And on days like today, it's a little bit frustrating. And exciting.
Yikes.
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